Needing a Break During the PhD
When life won’t stop, you can take an incomplete.
The first half of this year has been chaotic.
It got me thinking back at a particular moment in my PhD journey when my entire world was falling apart.
It was April 2022. My qualifying exams were quickly approaching and I was determined to achieve ABD (All But Dissertation) status by fall. Every single day in my calendar was marked with specific tasks leading up to my personal deadline. My timeline was perfect. All I needed was a meeting with both of my co-chairs to ensure we were on the same page for what they expected in my quals and dissertation proposal.
When it was finally time to meet, I logged in 10 minutes late. I’m never late.
I opened the Zoom meeting and as my co-chairs’ video thumbnails popped up, I wiped my tears.
My eyes darted down. “Hi, I’m sorry I’m late. I—” My voice cracked. I tasted salt again. “Some personal stuff happened over the weekend, but I didn’t want to cancel the meeting so last minute.”
“Shine, we have so much on our plates, we love cancelled meetings. You don’t need to worry about it,” Co-Chair 2 said.
“Okay. Well before we go, I was wondering what’s the bare minimum I need to do for my quals?”
“I know you won’t be happy with your work if you submit the bare minimum. Take an incomplete and finish them next semester,” Co-Chair 1 said.
“I can take an incomplete?”
“Yes, an incomplete means that there will be an “I” on your transcript and it won’t affect your GPA. Fill out the form, we’ll sign it, and you can submit it to the registrar’s office.”
“Thank you so much.” I sobbed.
“Life happens, and your grades shouldn’t suffer because of them.”
I thought my only options were get bad grades (like B’s) or take a leave of absence. Instead, my advisor presented a temporary space where I could breathe.
Slowing down isn’t my first language. It’s not even my second language. But when people pave the way for me to pause, it’s an unexpected relief to see that someone else recognizes my humanity even if I’ve forgotten.
If you’ve been struggling to finish your PhD because of life, the daily international news, and our current sociopolitical climate, it’s understandable. No one should have to thrive in this environment. You also don’t have to let your grades suffer for it.
Even though it’s summer right now, some of you may be taking summer school, or are feeling uncertain and exhausted, incapable of imagining how you could possibly focus on your PhD in the fall. Remember, an incomplete is an option even if your professors don’t promote it.
If you have the resources to be able to take an incomplete and finish your work the following semester, then I encourage you to do so. Of course every school is different with specific parameters for the incomplete, so double check with your registrar’s office. Take control of your PhD journey.
If you’re somewhere in the margins, feeling alone and exhausted, I see you, I hear you, and I stand with you.
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