Set at a Disadvantage
Staying silent only hurts you.
Academic advisors are rarely able to provide the level of support students need, and that’s why so many graduate students struggle.
As your alt advisor, our work together is my top priority! We’ll develop personalized strategies and systems of support so you can thrive in your graduate program!
The treadmill beeped as I pressed buttons to go up to a 1% incline at a speed of 5.5 mph.
One foot went in front of the other. A light run shouldn’t hurt. I breathed into my nose and out through my mouth. I can do this. A mile is no biggie.
But after a couple minutes, my feet started crying. Seriously? Already? I hadn’t even crossed the half mile threshold.
Just like my bladder when I gulp too much water at once, my feet refused to be ignored. Pain radiated in my arches. Keep going or listen to my body? I pressed the 1 mph button and pressed the arrow to go up 0.5. My feet sighed in relief, but my shoulders sagged.
I pouted and looked over to the treadmill on my left. My husband’s legs were a blur. He ran like the pain didn’t bother him. Until a thought crossed my mind. Does he not feel pain when he runs? I should ask him after he finishes his mile.
I didn’t have to wait for long. Five minutes later, he ran through the invisible finish line and into my line of questioning. He slowed to a walking recovery, taking note of his 7 minute and 10 second mile.
“Do your feet hurt when you run?”
His face scrunched in confusion. “No?”
“Oh.” I didn’t know what to do with this new information. I thought feeling pain while running was normal. That everyone else put up with it and I had to get used to it.
But it was actually something that hindered my health and well-being. This can happen in academia too.
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As a first-generation scholar, it’s easy to think, “No one else is struggling. I need to suck it up and work harder.”
Like my number one rookie mistake when I entered my PhD program. My reading pace was two articles per hour because I thought I had to read word for word. It was a miracle if I finished all the readings before class. Meanwhile my classmates seemed to have no problems completing the reading. It was only later that I learned the power of skimming.
Everyone looks like they have their shit together. They answer questions during class discussions, even quoting from the readings. They write papers that are worthy of top tier journals. They attend conferences like they don’t feel pain from the $1000+ hit to their bank accounts (regardless of whether or not they get reimbursed later). But what you’re seeing is people squeezing into the expectation to fit a certain template in academia.
What you’re feeling is the truth: pursuing a graduate degree is a privilege that requires financial, physical, mental, and emotional wealth.
On the outside it looks like others have it all. But on the inside, people are struggling too. Very few of us can enroll in universities unscathed without making some aching sacrifices. In our current system and society, accessing all that wealth all at once is only reserved for the rich and powerful. The rest of us are set at a disadvantage and sometimes don’t even realize it.
How does this disadvantage play out in the long run?
Being pitted against each other falsely believing there is a winner and a loser
Isolation because the idea of community is nonexistent if you think everyone is your competition
A claim that there is a scarcity in resources while the rich get richer
How can we identify our disadvantage and build community?
Don’t settle for silence. Vocalize your experiences. You never know how support might show up for you.
You may think otherwise, but you deserve access to all the support in the world as you pursue your degree. Suffering doesn’t add more weight to your GPA or classify you with some fancy Greek honors when you receive your diploma. It won’t say the number of hours you struggled more than your classmates.
It’ll say the same thing as everyone else’s degrees: First and Last Name, PhD in Field.
You don’t deserve to excessively suffer for your degree. You deserve an equitable learning environment.
How have your disadvantages impacted your progress in the graduate program? Let me know in the comments and I’ll see if there are any resources I can offer!